5 Clear Ways to Spot a Narcissistic

They might actually be around you more often than you realise. Dr. W. Keith Campbell, a psychology professor at the University of Georgia, stated that 1% or 2% of people suffer from narcissistic personality disorder.

Campbell described someone who suffers from this disease by saying, "Clinically, if it destroys your marriage, it ruins your business relationships, your overconfidence at work has you kind of falling apart... then it becomes a disorder."

However, Dr. Craig Malkin, a licenced psychologist in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and a psychology lecturer at Harvard Medical School, noted that narcissism is a personality trait that everyone varies in.

According to him, 1 in 10 persons may fit the definition of a narcissist because those who exhibit the feature at the highest levels—the top 10% of individuals—are classified as such.

However, what are the best ways to identify folks who might, at most, bore us with a litany of their accomplishments during social gatherings or, at worst, harass or threaten us? Experts outline the five steps you can take to identify them and be safe.

1. What type of narcissist are you dealing with?

According to Malkin, there are three different kinds of narcissists, and you can identify them by the way they go about feeling unique. Identifying some is easier than others.

As a coping mechanism, overt narcissists may feel superior to others, which is why they may come to mind first when discussing narcissism, according to Malkin.

According to Malkin, "there's that constant feeling that somehow, everything you do will never be enough and will therefore be insignificant in comparison to other people." "They've accomplished more."

He continued, "Covert narcissists feel special when they are perceived as the one with the most misfortune or misunderstanding." No matter what problems you may be facing, they will undoubtedly pale in comparison to the suffering this person is going through.

Thirdly, there are communal narcissists who derive a sense of specialness from being regarded as the group's most helpful member.

Malkin stated, "They want you to know that you've never met someone more committed or caring."

2. How do you feel around people?

A person's narcissistic scale score may be fairly accurately predicted by how they make you feel around them. According to Malkin, people who have been in several relationships with narcissists would probably experience a great deal of self-doubt.

According to Malkin, those who are close to a narcissist frequently say things like, "I should probably try to soften my approach, or maybe if I didn't raise my voice, maybe if I wasn't so insistent."

He continued, "These people are frequently cut off from their own emotions."

How can you tell whether the person you are interacting with is a hidden narcissist rather than someone who is in need of assistance? Check to see if you are being drawn in or shoved away, Malkin said.

According to him, covert narcissists don't disclose their frailty. "It's display, not expression, if you're not feeling drawn towards it or if you're not seeing real tears."

3. Is there balance in your relationship? Or is it all about them?

Relationships and conversations should involve reciprocation: you share your vulnerabilities and they show you care. After the other person reveals a weakness, you show them your concern.

According to Malkin, "usually, they don't feel comfortable in situations where they have to share real, vulnerable emotions like sadness, fear, or loneliness with someone."

He went on to say that while many individuals may be afraid to open up, narcissists learn to live with that anxiety by continuing to feel unique.

According to Malkin, people may even say they don't truly feel that way since they take such wonderful care of themselves, in addition to refusing to admit they're depressed or lonely.

"Not only are they refusing to acknowledge this universal human feeling and experience," he added, "but they're also sort of putting themselves in a better position to feel superior to you."

4. Is your relationship really close? How to evaluate it

According to Malkin, narcissists frequently struggle to maintain close relationships because they need to feel exceptional.

He continued, "The core of narcissism is the obsessive drive to hold onto the belief that relationships are worthless."

According to Campbell, "having an exaggerated view of oneself and a lack of closer, emotionally warm relationships with other people are generally indicative of narcissism."

The triple Es, as defined by Malkin, may characterise the relationships of narcissists more so than those of sincere friends, love partners, or family members.

"Doing whatever it takes no matter the cost to others in order to feel special" is known as exploitation.
• Entitlement, defined as "behaving as though the world ought to submit to their will."
• Impaired empathy, or the inability to "feel special compared to others." These are individuals who completely lose sight of the needs, feelings, and viewpoints of other people.

According to Malkin, these inclinations could serve as the basis for verbal, emotional, or physical abuse.

5. Cut yourself some slack

The reason narcissists might be difficult to identify is because you might honestly think they are as amazing and unique as they want you to think, according to Deborah Ashway, a licenced clinical mental health counsellor in New Bern, North Carolina.

She went on, "They try to entice people into their world, follow them, and believe that they're superior to others by using a lot of charm."

You shouldn't hold yourself responsible if you've discovered yourself entangled in a narcissist's web, she advised.

"They have such a good facade, and each one is slightly different, so it's really difficult," Ashway remarked. "Years can pass before someone notices it."

Do you believe it's time to put a narcissist in your past? To deal with narcissists, try grey rocking, which is basically making yourself as boring as possible.